19
I was reading through his class 7accounts when the bell rang. I did not go to open it but surely I wasnot reading anymore. It was Pappa. He was going back home when he decided to stop by. Isha called me. My Pappa had never been an emotional person if I knew. It’s not that I had never seen him fall weak but I never saw him show it. When my grandmother had expired, my dad hugged me and wept long. That was the first time I saw my dad cry. Then when his sister expired, dad had cried again. But all those tears were fresh and soon lost. I have always been the emotional one in the family and even now I miss my grandma and aunt. Today, Pappa had come for another of my emotional healing sessions. He wanted me to concentrate on studies. He said it had been a long time and a long break. I can stop but the world wont and the day I decide that I was ready to catch up, the world would be far ahead and I would never make it then.
Mum second him and so did Dad (who returned soon after Pappa’s arrival). I listened to them all silently. I knew they were all correct but what can I do? I forget to breathe at times… how can they expect me to remember the volumes of books I was taught? The college had granted me 2 months vacations after Adi was gone. Piyush had arranged them for me but those 2 months were only a few days left to be over.
Dad – “that’s probably the best way to restart life..”
Mum – “And you need to complete your education, dear. You cant just let it go.”
I was still silent.
Isha – “Even bhai would want you to complete this.. wouldn’t he?”
I turned to Isha. She had read what was I thinking. Nothing mattered… nothing made sense.. not without Adi. Everyone was silent now.They all had wanted to say the same but just couldnot get themselves to. Finally I promised I will try my best after the holidays are over.
I reasoned it against myself for a long time. They were all correct that I had to move on but how can I? I continued reading the diary. It was definitely the better option. Just after a page or two I saw the first mention of my name…
“… Namrata, that’s what her brother Piyush called her. I did not quite like the way she said I was being rude to Isha. Ofcourse I had to stop her from talking to everyone. She is a little girl, how will she know? Well, all girls are like that. Always poking their noses. But Piyush bhaiyaa.. he plays amazing basket ball and know all the tricks…”
I grew more curious. I wanted to know more.. how did Adi find me.. it was like living all that time but this time from his point of view.
Next few days had little mention of me… but with each mention, it hinted that we were becoming friends. On the mention of the day before my birthday..
“… It’s Namrata’s birthday tomorrow. Isha told me. She also told that Namrata was upset not having made any friends here yet with whom she could celebrate. That is not done. Arent we her friends? She should have atleast asked her. But I think I will definitely help her celebrate. I will take her to our tree. She will like it there. …”
On my birthday.. there was the first long entry after Isha’s first birthday!
“… Lakshay kept irritating me the entire day. Namrata wouldnot believe me that there is a place.. a special one and so she came to me after the assembly and asked me about it. Thank God I asked her to go that time. Just seeing me her talk to me kept Lakshay speaking of it the entire day.. imagine if I would have talked, Lakshay would keep singing this till we both landed in hell…”
I had known Lakshay. Inititally through Adi’s mention of him and later we had met quite a number of times. He never looked the kind to have troubled Adi on him talking to a girl. But well, that’s how we all were in our class 7. Moreover, I don’t even remember anyone was there with Aditya when I went to him. My memories are just too perfect in this sense – just my Adi and me!
I scanned further… the last paragraph for the day.
“… she loved it. It was the same smile Isha had all those times back. I wish she would keep smiling.”
I wish he had told all these words to me himself. It was just like living all these moments all over again just this time Aditya was the narrator. I was 12 again.. sitting on the branch of tree with Adi and looking at the sunset. I had no idea then that we both would go this long way together – 10 years of togetherness! But that time I hadnt even know that just 10 years of togetherness and then I will be one day left to all by myself… to be alone and miserable with no one to hold onto. This wasnot done Adi. Right from this secret world, we shared everything… not your diary but atleast I did share every bit of me with you… I don’t have anyone to go to.
Mum second him and so did Dad (who returned soon after Pappa’s arrival). I listened to them all silently. I knew they were all correct but what can I do? I forget to breathe at times… how can they expect me to remember the volumes of books I was taught? The college had granted me 2 months vacations after Adi was gone. Piyush had arranged them for me but those 2 months were only a few days left to be over.
Dad – “that’s probably the best way to restart life..”
Mum – “And you need to complete your education, dear. You cant just let it go.”
I was still silent.
Isha – “Even bhai would want you to complete this.. wouldn’t he?”
I turned to Isha. She had read what was I thinking. Nothing mattered… nothing made sense.. not without Adi. Everyone was silent now.They all had wanted to say the same but just couldnot get themselves to. Finally I promised I will try my best after the holidays are over.
I reasoned it against myself for a long time. They were all correct that I had to move on but how can I? I continued reading the diary. It was definitely the better option. Just after a page or two I saw the first mention of my name…
“… Namrata, that’s what her brother Piyush called her. I did not quite like the way she said I was being rude to Isha. Ofcourse I had to stop her from talking to everyone. She is a little girl, how will she know? Well, all girls are like that. Always poking their noses. But Piyush bhaiyaa.. he plays amazing basket ball and know all the tricks…”
I grew more curious. I wanted to know more.. how did Adi find me.. it was like living all that time but this time from his point of view.
Next few days had little mention of me… but with each mention, it hinted that we were becoming friends. On the mention of the day before my birthday..
“… It’s Namrata’s birthday tomorrow. Isha told me. She also told that Namrata was upset not having made any friends here yet with whom she could celebrate. That is not done. Arent we her friends? She should have atleast asked her. But I think I will definitely help her celebrate. I will take her to our tree. She will like it there. …”
On my birthday.. there was the first long entry after Isha’s first birthday!
“… Lakshay kept irritating me the entire day. Namrata wouldnot believe me that there is a place.. a special one and so she came to me after the assembly and asked me about it. Thank God I asked her to go that time. Just seeing me her talk to me kept Lakshay speaking of it the entire day.. imagine if I would have talked, Lakshay would keep singing this till we both landed in hell…”
I had known Lakshay. Inititally through Adi’s mention of him and later we had met quite a number of times. He never looked the kind to have troubled Adi on him talking to a girl. But well, that’s how we all were in our class 7. Moreover, I don’t even remember anyone was there with Aditya when I went to him. My memories are just too perfect in this sense – just my Adi and me!
I scanned further… the last paragraph for the day.
“… she loved it. It was the same smile Isha had all those times back. I wish she would keep smiling.”
I wish he had told all these words to me himself. It was just like living all these moments all over again just this time Aditya was the narrator. I was 12 again.. sitting on the branch of tree with Adi and looking at the sunset. I had no idea then that we both would go this long way together – 10 years of togetherness! But that time I hadnt even know that just 10 years of togetherness and then I will be one day left to all by myself… to be alone and miserable with no one to hold onto. This wasnot done Adi. Right from this secret world, we shared everything… not your diary but atleast I did share every bit of me with you… I don’t have anyone to go to.
No comments: