Dated : September 6, evening
I couldnot imagine what has happened to me.
I had grown hating my muggle father but then mother always kept me calm. Then Lily came into my life. She was indeed a Lily to me. She brought in colours and all the pleasant odours along. She made me a better person - a much better person.
However, that intense hateness for my muggle father forced me to be a powerful wizard. Lily always used to say that I was just trying to escape the truth being into a crazy quest for power. But that was true I guess.
But the Dark Lord's campaign was much more tempting than anything. And once joined, you could not break apart or be unfaithful. I think I could have returned if Lily would still have had been there. Only if she hadnot walked away but called me back. But that Potter came into her life and then everything messed up in mine. More than hatred for my muggle father, I joined the Death Eaters because Lily hated them. I hated how she was nearing that Potter and I did everything she hated. I was jealous. Or maybe simply out of fate.
I did several mistakes. Killed innocent and what not. All that didnot matter. The pain of separation had hardened me enough. The pain didnot let me feel anything and I became the perfect puppet for The Dark Lord. But they say you always end up burning your own house too, I did the same. Even though not together but I was glad that Lily was there. But due to my own mistake, I lost her and made her lose her everything too just except Harry.
When Harry enterd Hogwarts, Dumbledore explained me all this. He said that because of me Lily lost everything and taking care of Harry was the least I could do for her. Unfortunately it was the most too...
However, Harry Potter entered this school with a high nose. He was in air with the misconception of having defeated the Dark Lord alone. He enjoys all the attention he gets due to this. And I hate how he is all pampered. Just like his father.
In today's class, I really wanted to be neutral towards Harry but I couldnot hating him. James had been the exact same on our first potions class. I had then been with Lily and Lily was a natural at it while James chatted away merrily with Sirius and Lupin. Today it was just Hermoine was the intelligent muggle and Potter chatted with Ron.
It was like Deja - Vu.
And that one moment of hatred got me. I couldnot hide all the anger and hatred and I regret showing it in front of students.
It is dinner time now. Will take leave.
'I am sorry Odour'
Severus...
I had grown hating my muggle father but then mother always kept me calm. Then Lily came into my life. She was indeed a Lily to me. She brought in colours and all the pleasant odours along. She made me a better person - a much better person.
However, that intense hateness for my muggle father forced me to be a powerful wizard. Lily always used to say that I was just trying to escape the truth being into a crazy quest for power. But that was true I guess.
But the Dark Lord's campaign was much more tempting than anything. And once joined, you could not break apart or be unfaithful. I think I could have returned if Lily would still have had been there. Only if she hadnot walked away but called me back. But that Potter came into her life and then everything messed up in mine. More than hatred for my muggle father, I joined the Death Eaters because Lily hated them. I hated how she was nearing that Potter and I did everything she hated. I was jealous. Or maybe simply out of fate.
I did several mistakes. Killed innocent and what not. All that didnot matter. The pain of separation had hardened me enough. The pain didnot let me feel anything and I became the perfect puppet for The Dark Lord. But they say you always end up burning your own house too, I did the same. Even though not together but I was glad that Lily was there. But due to my own mistake, I lost her and made her lose her everything too just except Harry.
When Harry enterd Hogwarts, Dumbledore explained me all this. He said that because of me Lily lost everything and taking care of Harry was the least I could do for her. Unfortunately it was the most too...
However, Harry Potter entered this school with a high nose. He was in air with the misconception of having defeated the Dark Lord alone. He enjoys all the attention he gets due to this. And I hate how he is all pampered. Just like his father.
In today's class, I really wanted to be neutral towards Harry but I couldnot hating him. James had been the exact same on our first potions class. I had then been with Lily and Lily was a natural at it while James chatted away merrily with Sirius and Lupin. Today it was just Hermoine was the intelligent muggle and Potter chatted with Ron.
It was like Deja - Vu.
And that one moment of hatred got me. I couldnot hide all the anger and hatred and I regret showing it in front of students.
It is dinner time now. Will take leave.
'I am sorry Odour'
Severus...
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