32
I pointed the gun back to the man…
Me – “I have never hated anyone more than I hate you… I haven’t seen your face before today but all these months… I have hated you. Yes, I didn’t know that it was you who took my life away but all the hatred I had for God for taking my Adi away… is now on you!”
I closed my eyes… no matter what but with open eyes I would never be able to open the trigger.
As soon as I closed my eyes, Adi stood there before me. Very clear and very perfect. He took the gun from my hand gently. It was all black around us and just the two of us shone in front of each other. Never before in the nothingness, had I seen his face. It was the first time.
I fell into his arms and wept… I hugged him as hard as I could… I was not letting him go… he was there in front of me. I told him everything I wanted to.
Me – “Why did you go? I am so lost and lonely… I don’t like anything. The Sun isnot the same bright… the moon is dull… Isha and Mum miss you too much. Dad doesn’t say it but he needs his son. Mummy and Pappa miss those family dinners. Piyush hasn’t touched the basketball. I haven’t lived!”
Adi pulled me away from him so as to see me. I was crying. He wiped my tears gently and then nodded.
Adi – “I know it Nimi. I see it all and I miss all those things too! Atleast you are there with all of them… I am alone here.”
I wanted to say… to ask him to return…
Adi – “Let me speak… The Sun… the Moon… they are all the same. Me or anyone else don’t matter to them. They are far beyond these human emotions. I miss Piyush bhai too… I miss those challenges but I want him to now settle down. He is happy with his job and he is going to do great in future… Isha is very lonely. She needs you to be with her. She is so like you. She too has stopped talking to people. Even today, she sobs when you are not seeing. It hurts me seeing her hurt. She is a smart, pretty young lady and it’s not good if she ruins her life missing her brother… atleast her brother disapproves of it. Mummy – Pappa are definitely broken but I know they are brave people. With time their wounds will dry but the scars will remain. I don’t want you to not let those wounds not heal up. Seeing you miserable… they will never be able to forget me and always be in misery. Dad is all alone. I wish there was something I could do for him. I am sure Piyush bhai, at the right time will be there but yes I know nothing can really help him. For mum, she wont show it ever but she is broken as much as possible… you are still complaining, she got no one to complain to. I hate seeing her like that.”
I nodded in approval and to show understanding…
Adi – “And for you… you were my life… imagine how it is to be here all alone leaving my life so far behind? You know I love you and I know you love me. Our time together was timed! But why are you so much complaining? Arent you happy we met each other? So much happened between us?”
Me – “But there was more we planned… more we had to live together…”
Adi – “None of us is God, Nimi. He decides what happens and what doesnot. I know I will survive here with all those memories… then why cant you survive there? There … with the souverniers!”
I cried again…
Me – “I want to be with you… why cant I be here?”
Adi – “I would love to see you answer this if you were in my place… but God’s been great to not have you here. You have your entire life ahead of you. Live it to the fullest. I don’t want to be the reason for the tear in your eyes… why cant I live forever as the smile on your face?”
We sat silently staring each other…
Adi then showed the gun, he kept aside.
Adi – “As for this man… if it wasnot him… it would have had been someone else. It was destined and so it had to happen. None of us could change it. You have to learn to forgive.”
Me – “I have never hated anyone more than I hate you… I haven’t seen your face before today but all these months… I have hated you. Yes, I didn’t know that it was you who took my life away but all the hatred I had for God for taking my Adi away… is now on you!”
I closed my eyes… no matter what but with open eyes I would never be able to open the trigger.
As soon as I closed my eyes, Adi stood there before me. Very clear and very perfect. He took the gun from my hand gently. It was all black around us and just the two of us shone in front of each other. Never before in the nothingness, had I seen his face. It was the first time.
I fell into his arms and wept… I hugged him as hard as I could… I was not letting him go… he was there in front of me. I told him everything I wanted to.
Me – “Why did you go? I am so lost and lonely… I don’t like anything. The Sun isnot the same bright… the moon is dull… Isha and Mum miss you too much. Dad doesn’t say it but he needs his son. Mummy and Pappa miss those family dinners. Piyush hasn’t touched the basketball. I haven’t lived!”
Adi pulled me away from him so as to see me. I was crying. He wiped my tears gently and then nodded.
Adi – “I know it Nimi. I see it all and I miss all those things too! Atleast you are there with all of them… I am alone here.”
I wanted to say… to ask him to return…
Adi – “Let me speak… The Sun… the Moon… they are all the same. Me or anyone else don’t matter to them. They are far beyond these human emotions. I miss Piyush bhai too… I miss those challenges but I want him to now settle down. He is happy with his job and he is going to do great in future… Isha is very lonely. She needs you to be with her. She is so like you. She too has stopped talking to people. Even today, she sobs when you are not seeing. It hurts me seeing her hurt. She is a smart, pretty young lady and it’s not good if she ruins her life missing her brother… atleast her brother disapproves of it. Mummy – Pappa are definitely broken but I know they are brave people. With time their wounds will dry but the scars will remain. I don’t want you to not let those wounds not heal up. Seeing you miserable… they will never be able to forget me and always be in misery. Dad is all alone. I wish there was something I could do for him. I am sure Piyush bhai, at the right time will be there but yes I know nothing can really help him. For mum, she wont show it ever but she is broken as much as possible… you are still complaining, she got no one to complain to. I hate seeing her like that.”
I nodded in approval and to show understanding…
Adi – “And for you… you were my life… imagine how it is to be here all alone leaving my life so far behind? You know I love you and I know you love me. Our time together was timed! But why are you so much complaining? Arent you happy we met each other? So much happened between us?”
Me – “But there was more we planned… more we had to live together…”
Adi – “None of us is God, Nimi. He decides what happens and what doesnot. I know I will survive here with all those memories… then why cant you survive there? There … with the souverniers!”
I cried again…
Me – “I want to be with you… why cant I be here?”
Adi – “I would love to see you answer this if you were in my place… but God’s been great to not have you here. You have your entire life ahead of you. Live it to the fullest. I don’t want to be the reason for the tear in your eyes… why cant I live forever as the smile on your face?”
We sat silently staring each other…
Adi then showed the gun, he kept aside.
Adi – “As for this man… if it wasnot him… it would have had been someone else. It was destined and so it had to happen. None of us could change it. You have to learn to forgive.”
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